November 24, 2014 1 Comment
Tonight, a new era has begun. The Authority are not in charge, after Team Cena defeated Team Authority, with Dolph Ziggler surviving a 3 on 1 disadvantage. We also saw Sting inside a WWE ring, going face to face with HHH.
So the question becomes who is in charge?
And oh yeah, our special guest tonight is Larry The Cable Guy.
Raw is in 10 minutes.
We see footage from last night when Sting made his WWE in-ring debut.
Even when they aren’t supposed to be in “power”, The Authority kicks off the show.
They expected this kind of reaction tonight, because we don’t understand the word respect. We don’t know what its like being a leader, and accept responsibility for their actions.
Team Authority would have won last night, if it hadn’t been for one man, who had never stepped foot in the WWE ring, and that man is Sting. And because of her father, the only man who can reenlist them is John Cena.
But they are still the winners, they still have their desk jobs, they still have their jobs. But they just don’t have control over the tv programs.
HHH asks us if we enjoy this, to see them humbled? Do they want to see his wife cry? What kind of people are us? We are bullies.
Go ahead and cheer, but be careful what you wish for. Because HHH knows there isn’t anyone that can handle this power. They live in a univerise with finance, they do things that is what’s best for business. Not for popularity, so who will deal with that? John Cena? Will it be Dolph Ziggler? Will it be Sting?
HHH doesn’t know why Sting showed up, to make his career relevant for being in the ring with HHH for 30 seconds? His first night could be his last night, because we are looking at the demise of WWE.
And now HHH is quoting us with Colonel Jessup, from “A Few Good Men”, in that infamous courtroom setting.
But without The Authority, there would be no John Cena, no Dolph Ziggler, no Ryback. Who will take control? Go ahead, and cheer, but mark his words, he will beg them to come back.
In comes Daniel Bryan.
We get the yes chants all over Indianapolis, while HHH and Stephanie leave the ring.
They can’t even leave in peace, with Daniel Bryan goating (See what I did there?) them with Yes chants.
Daniel tells us it’s great to be back in the ring. Daniel tells us after Team Cena’s win, he is in charge of Raw tonight.
Just because Team Authority lost last night does not mean they are bad people. So let’s hear it for Team Authority.
Here they all come, as a team.
Daniel isn’t a spiteful man. He isn’t going to strip them of their titles. He isn’t going to put them in unfair matches, like HHH and Stephanie did.
And he starts with “Mr. Money in the Bank” Seth Rollins.
Tonight, he will put Seth in the ring against 2 men of his choice against John Cena, and the man who changed the course of direction, Dolph Ziggler.
Whether Daniel likes it or not, Seth tells him he is still the future of this company.
But he is curious, what is Daniel’s idea? Who will his partners be?
Daniel informs him the WWE Universe will select his partners.
Team A. Mark Henry and Luke Harper.
Team B. Mark Henry and Kane
Team C. Noble and Mercury.
Voting will start now.
Rollins said they are just security, so Daniel said life is not fair so go ahead and step aside.
And now that brings us to his great, long-time buddy….”Corporate” Kane.
It seems that Kane has gone down the path, if he was in charge, he wouldn’t have that position of Director of Operations. But let’s be fair, let’s ask the fans, should Kane be DOO?
The fans say no, and Kane will be Director of Food and Beverage.
Someone bring out a tray and a hairnet.
Popcorn and hot dogs. No hairnet though.
Now for the United States Champion, Rusev and Lana.
Since he is the United States Champion, he should be more patriotic. He tells us how great Russia is, and how horrible United States is.
Well, he has 2 choices, either A. Compete in a battle royal with everyone else for the United States Title on the line. Or….B. He comes to the ring, and recite the entire Pledge of Allegiance.
Rusev leaves the ramp, without telling us.
Tonight, Luke Harper will compete by himself and put the Intercontinental Title, against “The Lunatic Fringe” Dean Ambrose.
And this leaves Mark Henry.
A big guy asked Daniel for a match against a man who embarrassed him two years ago at Wrestlemania. That man is Ryback, and he can do that tonight because that is what he does.
Ryback Vs Mark Henry is now.
A rather quick match, with Ryback hitting a Meathook Clothesline.
HHH and Stephanie are leaving backstage. They run into Vince McMahon.
Vince isn’t angry, he’s just disappointed. He made insurmountable odds at Survivor Series, because they have to make insurmountable odds to make it in the corporate business. How does it feel? To have those fans treat you?
Sorry? Sorry? THE HELL YOU’RE SORRY!! He orders them to get into the limo, and they drive away into the moonlight drive.
IC Title match is set now….Dean Ambrose Vs Luke Harper.
Harper shoves Ambrose into the ref, and Harper is DQ’d, but Dean elbows Luke. And now come the chairs.
At TLC, it’s Ambrose Vs Bray Wyatt in a TLC match.
The fans want tables, but we get tables and a ladder.
But Bray Wyatt shows up from behind, and nails Sister Abigail.
Now it’s Wyatt burying Ambrose with chairs.
Bray now stands up at the table, and feels the fans presence.
We get a replay of what we just saw.
The New Day is coming, according to Big E, Xavier Woods, and Kofi Kingston.
Oh boy, Larry The Cable Guy and Santino Marella are heading to the ring.
Larry is wearing a lucha mask.
Larry came here to wrestle.
Santino tells him he needs to train, and have experience.
What would his wrestling name be? Larry is a fan of “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, and his name would be “Stone Cold” Creamery.
Gold and Stardust are here, they are ready to compete.
They are in action, next.
Gold and Stardust Vs The Miz and Mizdow, Tag Team Gold is on the line.
The Miz and Mizdow retain their titles, but Miz had an “injury” being tended to, Mizdow did all of the work, and Miz tags himself in, hits a Skull Crushing Finale on Stardust, and wins.
Tonight, 3-on-2 Handicap match with Ziggler and Cena facing Rollins and 2 partners.
We get to choose on WWE App.
Kane is being chewed out by his manager. Kane is chips.
Rusev is in the ring, with Lana.
This is not fair, America is not fair. What kind of country forces their will at people?
Rusev doesn’t care who is in charge of Raw, he won’t be brainwashed by these dumb Americans.
Daniel Bryan shows up, and he will send a ref out for his US Title match,
But he will give them another chance, and send someone to “supervise”.
Slaughter orders the United States flag to pop up, and it does.
He orders them to recite the Pledge of Allegiance, and only Lana does it.
Rusev grabs Lana’s mic, and throws it down, sending her out of the ring.
Rusev wants to fight, it seems.
Enter Jack Swagger
Swagger catches Rusev and tries to hit a Patriot Lock, but Rusev gets out of the ring.
The Authority are no longer in power. Daniel Bryan is in charge, and we get to vote who Seth Rollins will partner with. Either Mark Henry and Kane, Mark Henry and Luke Harper, or the two stooges.
“Jingle All The Way 2″ is out on DVD December 2nd.
Santino orders a hot dog, with heavy mustard and Kane pours mustard all over Santino.
The new, and improved Fandango Vs Justin Gabriel is up now. With Rosa Mendes.
Fandango wins with his leg drop off the top rope. The crowd still does not care.
Last night on Survivor Series, Big Show turned his back on Team Cena.
The Big Show speaks, next.
We are live in Indianapolis, with the Colts in the house.
Big Show comes out.
People say he is a “bad guy” but he’s not a bad guy. He is a human being that made a mistake. There isn’t a person alive who hasn’t made a mistake. Don’t misunderstand what happened. He despises The Authority. They made him do some horrible things last year, to people like Daniel Bryan.
Big Show made a snap decision, and he panicked. Dolph Ziggler was knocked out, Cena could barely get up to his feet. He saw three fresh members of The Authority. He did one fateful mistake, and he hopes they can forgive him. He understands the boos, but this isn’t the time for it. If Big Show could go back again, knowing how things could turn out, he wouldn’t have done what he did.
He has put his body on the line for 20 years, and he thinks we should give him a mulligan. So let’s pretend it didn’t happen.
The fans are giving him a you sold out chant.
How dare we all judge him on the decisions he make. How dare we pass judgment on him, when he has everything on the line. He is not a traitor, he is The Big Show and he deserves respect.
If any of you cowards in the back have something to say, say it to his face.
Erick Rowan comes out.
Big Show is not impressed.
He makes fun at Erick, and tells him this ring is made for men.
Big Show orders him to go back to the ramp, and Erick tells him he doesn’t like bullies. He kicks Big Show out of the ring.
3-on-2 Handicap match, who will Seth Rollins’ partner be? We can vote on the WWE App.
Rollins is not impressed with Noble and Mercury.
Ziggler believes in them, and he asked his 1.4 million followers to vote for the two of them.
Brie Bella, with the new Divas Champion Nikki Bella.
AJ Lee is in the ring, and she said the divas title look good with her shoes, and lesb-i-honest….Brie proved she could be a bigger skank than her sister.
AJ Vs Brie, is now.
Brie wins with a rollup, because Nikki snaps AJ’s arm off the ring ropes.
AJ tells them that the two of them together doesn’t equal the kind of woman AJ is. And she makes this blunt, talent is not sexually transmitted.
Daniel Bryan is in charge, and we see a 3-on-2 Handicap match. Who will Seth Rollins’ partner be? We decide, vote on WWE App.
Adam Rose and the bunny Vs Tyson Kidd and Natalya. “Interspecies Match”, and we have Santino and Larry at commentary.
Tyson and Natalya win, with some unfortunate help from the bunny.
He is asking for some forgiveness from Adam Rose.
Ryback is standing by with Renee Young.
Ryback is hungry for more. He wants to know where a good concession stand is at.
The New Day is coming….together.
The New Day is dawning…next week.
Kane is selling hot dogs and soda.
“The Big Guy” is hungry.
Kane throws a hot dog, and Ryback hits some ketchup and mustard. He also forgot his nuts.
Renee Young is with Cena and Ziggler.
Ziggler told us it would take every last fiber of his breath, he would survive. They needed a miracle, and that miracle was a man named Sting.
Cena talks about Daniel Bryan being in charge, and tonight….the man that runs this place will team with The Showoff, you can consider this show, stolen.
Our main event is next, who teams up with Rollins?
Rollins will now have the J & J Security as his partners, dressed in suits as our main event.
Cena and Ziggler pinned J & J Security, with AA and Zig Zag, respectively.
Rollins runs away from the ring, but Daniel Bryan runs out and throws Rollins back, is met with an AA.
Just when all three men celebrate with the Yes chants, we get the Anonymous Raw General Manager?
Next week is Cyber Raw, whatever that means, according to Cole.
The show ends with that damn beeping noise over, and over.
Well, after an epic ending last night, we get a long and painful Raw that gave us 3 segments of Larry The Cable Guy. You figure that out.
What were your thoughts on the show? Did they drop the ball here?