WWE Monday Night Raw 1/7/13....Who Needs Bama-Notre Dame When You Have The Rock?

Okay, let’s face it, many people will be watching Alabama Vs Notre Dame tonight, myself included, but this is a very big show.  It’s the setup to Royal Rumble.  We are scheduled to have CM Punk Vs Ryback in a TLC match, for the WWE Title, and yes, The Rock is finally scheduled to appear, so let’s have the best of both worlds.  Tune in to the game during commercials, and watch wrestling?  And if you miss anything, keep checking here throughout the night.

Let’s do this.

We are live in Tampa, Florida, and here comes The Franchise, John Cena kicking off the show.

We see footage from last week when Dolph Ziggler and AJ Lee landed in crap.

Cena is telling us about tonight’s show, a big WWE Title match, but we will also feel some electricity.  We bring back the Most Electrifying Man in Entertainment, which means we are on the Road to Wrestlemania.  Just 3 weeks away from Royal Rumble.  The man who wins the Rumble has a golden ticket to the granddaddy of them all, Wrestlemania.

Here comes Dolph Ziggler, AJ Lee, and Big E. Langston.

Dolph said that the people came to see the Showoff, Dolph Ziggler.

AJ asks if this is what Cena wanted?  After what happened last week, to think she chose to lose her job over him.  He is a very petty man John, a very small man.

More jokes from Cena.

Ziggler said he isn’t going anywhere, so just cut the crap, and we get more crap jokes.

Ziggler officially entered himself in the Royal Rumble.  He can’t hide from him, and all 28 other men will make it their goal to make sure Cena doesn’t win.

Cena wants Ziggler in the ring, right now.  But Big E. has an answer for him, it’s on.

Cena Vs Ziggler?

Commercial break.

Cena wins the match with an Attitude Adjustment, after Big E. interfered 3 times, we also had a ref bump, and had an ejection from ringside to AJ and Big E, but when it’s all said and done, Cena prevails.

A very good, and long match kicking off Raw.

Tonight, a TLC match for the WWE Title.  CM Punk Vs Ryback.  And The Rock will be here, live.

Here comes the Divas Champion, Eve Torres, this is for the Divas Title.

When we come back, Eve is putting her Divas Title on the line against Kaitlyn.

Kaitlyn wins the match by countout, when Eve grabs her title, and runs away from Kaitlyn.

This feud should continue.

Coming up next, Team Hell No taking on Team Rhodes Scholars, it’s the battle of the teams….next.

When we come back, we see Santino and Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat talk.  Wade Barrett interrupts the man, later tonight, we see Santino take on Barrett.  Barrett talks trash about Dragon, and Ricky suggests that he accompanies Santino to the ring, tonight.

Randy Orton is with Matt Striker.  Orton says he will win at Royal Rumble, but 3MB interrupts him.  Heath Slater said that they will win the Rumble, and Orton asks which of the 3 men is he facing tonight?  It’s going to be Orton Vs Slater.

Team Rhodes Scholars Vs Team Hell No is up now.

Team Rhodes Scholars win the match, with Crossroads right on Daniel Bryan, Daniel hurt his knee.

This was a non-title match however, and Damien brings up, next time they will take the titles.

We also see John Cena defeating Dolph Ziggler in hour one, he is marching on to Royal Rumble with a big win.

We’ll also see a TLC match tonight, for the WWE Title between CM Punk Vs Ryback, and coming up next, The Viper, Randy Orton is in action.

Orton Vs Slater, now.

Orton wins with a RKO, and then proceeds to RKO the other members of 3MB.

Seriously, how do these 3 men propose a threat in the Rumble match?

When we come back, Wade Barrett Vs Santino Marella, now.

Bull Hammer nails The Cobra.

Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat accompanied Santino to the ring, and he attended to him, Wade played off like he was going to hit the Bull Hammer on Ricky, but Dragon was ready, the jacket comes off, and Wade smiled, leaving the ring.

Striker is with Sheamus.  Can history repeat itself, Sheamus winning the Rumble, then move on to Wrestlemania, and win the World Heavyweight Title in 18 seconds.  Sheamus said it will be difficult to happen, not winning the Rumble, but winning the title in 18 seconds.  3MB shows up again, and Sheamus proposes the 4 of them get into the ring, and sing.  The last man standing after a Brogue Kick wins.

Tables, ladders, and chairs are being shown, tonight….WWE Title match with CM Punk Vs Ryback, in a TLC match.

Our next match is Antonio Cesaro taking on The Great Khali, with The Miz doing color commentating.

Antonio wins with an impressive Neutralizer.  That takes strength.

Paul Heyman is backstage, on the phone.  Brad Maddox approaches him, and he’s there with the camera guy.  Heyman wants nothing to do with Brad, but Maddox says he can be a service for Punk.  He suggests he can put his referee shirt, and can ref the match.  Heyman isn’t interested, and he says to stay out of his life.

Here comes Sheamus.

Sheamus is now facing Jinder Mahal.

Jinder gets a Brogue Kick, and of course, 3MB is treated as nothing, because all 3 men get their asses kicked.

Moving on, fella.

Our big WWE Title match, TLC match with CM Punk Vs Ryback, next.

Future Cleveland Browns head coach Jon Gruden, (yes, I said that) is in the house.

Earlier tonight, John Cena defeated Dolph Ziggler.  Our WWE Title match is up now, CM Punk Vs Ryback, in a TLC match.

CM Punk wins a vicious TLC match when The Shield came out and destroyed Ryback, after Punk was put through a table.  The Shield lays out Ryback with a Triple Powerbomb through a table, and a steel step.

When Ryback had things his way, the lights went out, and The Shield appeared.  Very physical match between these two men.

The Rock makes his return to Raw later tonight.

Matt Striker is with CM Punk and Paul Heyman.  Punk claims he had nothing to do with Brad Maddox, and The Shield.  Before The Rock comes out to address the fans, it’s time for Punk to drop another Pipebomb.

Kane checks on Daniel Bryan.  Daniel blames Kane they lost to Team Rhodes Scholars, but Kane blames Daniel.

No!!

Yes!!

No!!

Yes!!

No!!

Yes!!

Vickie Guerrero returns, she tells them that next week, they will have their 4 month evaluation test from the man they both hate, Dr. Shelby.

Dr. Shelby is a monster….

Dr. Shelby is a nerd.

Monster!!

Nerd!!

Monster!!

Nerd!!

But wait, Kane says he is a Nerd….Daniel says a Monster.

Oh boy.

Last week on Raw, Vickie made it a Champions Choice night, and Big Show chose Ricardo Rodriguez.

This Friday on Smackdown, Alberto Del Rio goes one on one against Big Show.

Here comes Kofi Kingston, set for a match against Big Show, next.

Kofi is willing, but the knockout punch, in 18 seconds.

Damn.

We see footage from Raw 1000 when CM Punk kicked The Rock, and gave him a GTS.

We see The Rock’s dressing room, he is coming out, next.

Here comes CM Punk, with Paul Heyman.

The time has come to tell us all something personal.

The defining truth of a pipebomb is honesty.  He became the voice of the voiceless in 2011, and perhaps his ego was a runaway train, and he preached about respect, but never got it, and then he turned his back on us, but that was a lie.  He created this persona, this anti-rebel that he figured we’d all cheer about him, because the truth about WWE is it doesn’t matter if you’re the best wrestler, or the best performer, there is a glass ceiling that you will never break.

Why do you think Cena loses so many matches, yet he continues to get title shots?  Or how about a wrestling submission artist like Daniel Bryan puts a smile on his face and does whatever he can to keep his job?  How about a 400 pound monster like Brodus Clay has to demean himself by touching little kids’ hands?  What about an “imaginary kid” like Little Jimmy has a bigger spot than a Wrestling master like Tyson Kidd.

But there was that persona, until now.

Because CM Punk wrestles night in, and night out, beating guys like Ryback, and he is successful, not because of us, but in spite of us.

Some people get their gel out of saying “Let’s hear it for Tampa, Florida”, and they fake through it, but he is not a nice person.  A guy like Ric Flair will wipe a tear in their eye, and say they did it for us, but a guy like Shawn Michaels can lose his smile, and 20 years later at his Hall of Fame speech, he will say he did it for us.  Then someone like Edge, who has to retire will say he did it for us.  So either they are weak, or they are liars.

Punk is not a loser, he is not weak.  There are two types of people in this world, winners, and losers.

If these superstars are our friends, then why doesn’t they come out and give us their millions, and millions of dollars they had earned?

Someone tells Punk to go to a break, and Punk states that they go to a break when the champ tells them to.

He tells us we don’t matter, and we go to a break.

We come back, and Punk is still in the ring.

Punk will be the WWE Champion at the first Raw of 2014, and The Rock won’t change that.  When Punk beat Del Rio for the WWE Title in Madison Square Garden in 2011, he beat the system, he beat us.  He doesn’t care if we lose, we won’t win.

If Ya Smell What The Rock Is Cooking…..

Here comes The Brahma Bull himself, The Rock.

The Rock had to hear it all, he had to wait until Punk said it all, so he knew what kind of man he is dealing with at Royal Rumble.  Punk is delusional.  He mentioned 414 days as WWE Champion, that’s incredible, but the real number Punk is scaring about is 20, because he knows in 20 days he will defend the WWE Title against The Rock at the Rumble, which means, time is up.

Punk promoted change, he promoted a revolution, he promoted ice cream bars, but he couldn’t even deliver ice cream bars.  He couldn’t even deliver ice cream bars if a cookie puss had ice cream set to deliver up your ass.

He talks about the voices, but in the WWE, there is no such thing as voiceless.

The fans know about voices, in fact, they will use the chant right now, that will follow him for the rest of his life.  Not chant respect, but rather they will chant cookie puss.

And they do, so Punk calls them puppets, they won’t win.

Rock said they already won, he woke up at 4:00 AM, sent out a tweet, then set the road out to Alligator Alley, just to hear The Rock say….

Finally The Rock has come back to Tampa.

The Rock is back for three reasons.

1.  To entertain us.

2.  To stop Punk

3.  For 10 long years, he wants to win the title back.

He has been hearing him talk, but Punk talks about how he is straight edge, but he looks like Popeye on Crack, all he needs is a pipe to go toot toot.

Don’t you ever say Punk that the people don’t matter, because they matter.  Punk thinks….it doesn’t matter that you matter.  The Rock said that there is no way, and The Rock means no way he will ever stop The Rock from being WWE champion again.

Punk is glad Rock is back, because it doesn’t matter what schedule he has, whether he works one day a week, one day a year, he will kick Rock’s ass.  This is no Candyland, this is no rhyme time, Punk is the best opponent Rock will ever face, this is all kiddie games, and understand that at Royal Rumble, his arms are just too short to box with God.

You may think The Rock will box with God, but he knows for a fact, Punk is going one on one with The Great One.  He knows how good Punk is, and The Rock didn’t forget what Punk did to The Rock, knocking him out cold at Raw 1,000, but he wants Punk to know that for the next 20 days, his time is up.

Go home, strip naked, look at his backside, and find a small space that isn’t covered in tattoos.  He wants Punk to get another tatoo, he wants one butt cheek to get a M & M, not an Almond Joy, because unlike Punk, Almond Joy has nuts, but the other butt cheek, he wants to get a Rock tatoo, because in 20 days, at The Royal Rumble, The Rock is going to kick his ass.

Rock nails a Rock Bottom, to end the show, and put a stamp on what should be an epic ride.

This Friday, The Rock returns home to Smackdown, in Miami.

Kevin’s Thoughts:

Wow, where do I begin?  I absolutely loved the promo that ended the show, we can call this round one, because there will be more to follow.

20 days away from the biggest event, next to Wrestlemania.  What I liked the most out of this promo was it put both men on equal footing.  The Rock respects, Punk….Punk respects The Rock.  Now there will be a battle, and with The Shield in the fold, it wouldn’t surprise me if The Rock doesn’t win the title.  I believe it’s clear though that the story with The Rock, one way or the other just started.  So let’s just watch the fun, and see how it unfolds.

As for the rest of the show, I liked the WWE Title match, a very physical match that put Punk in the driver’s seat, once and for all.

Cena vs Ziggler was alot of fun to watch too, a very good match that set the tone for the evening.  Although it does seem a bit strange, for now at least that Cena has nothing to do with The Rock.

But that could change, rather quickly.

The only thing I did not like, and it’s actually a setting here, is why aren’t we getting qualifying matches into the Royal Rumble match itself?  The way 3MB has been portrayed, why do they even deserve spots into the Rumble?

I can show up on Raw next week, and say I am in the Rumble match, and nobody cares.  In fact, people would buy it, because I said it.

That needs to be changed next year.

But next week, 20 years of Raw.  I am feeling an article before then, talking about my memories, we shall see if that happens.  Keep checking out the site.  What were your thoughts on the show?  Send them to me, follow me on Twitter @KevinGillman, friend me on Facebook at Kevin Andrew Gillman.

Oh by the way, Alabama 42, Notre Dame 7…..so like I said before, who needs Bama-Notre Dame when we have The Rock?