TNA Impact 4/28/11…Dude, Did You Smash The Truck?

We see clips from last week where Kurt Angle told Karen Jarrett that he hired a “mistress” to take care of Karen, and Sting is attacked by Mr. Anderson.

The TNA Knockouts, along with female workers in TNA are in the ring while The Jarretts come out, and Karen has an umbrella, in case horse poop falls on her again.

Karen said that Kurt has hired a “mistress” to take a hit on Karen, so before anything happens, she has her list of suspects.

She starts with a woman in catering.  Karen has been watching her the last few years, everyone knows a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.  She goes nuts over Kurt coming near her, she denies this, she has a pot roast to cook.  Karen dismisses her.

Joleen, the seamstress is next.  The way she runs her hands all over Kurt, but it’s her job.  It’s what they pay her to do, she makes gear for everyone.

Karen dismisses her.

Now it’s Miss Tessmacher.

Isn’t a coicidence that she and Kurt entered the building at the same time?

Well, since they are both employees of TNA, and have to earn their paychecks, she doesn’t see that.

How about the fact they are both in the same gym at the same time?

Yup, and 25 other Wrestlers were there too.

She drops her glasses and leaves the ring, nobody does that better.

Sarita and Rosita now.

Hot and spicy just like her ex-husband likes them.

Isn’t it a coicidence that they always use “America” in their promos, just like Kurt is an American Olympic Gold Medalist.

Sarita brings up they are Mexican America, they don’t want to have anything to do with Americans, and that includes Kurt.

They walk away.

Now it’s Madison Rayne and Tara.

A coicidence that all 3 are former TNA World Champions?  Remember having that gold around your waist, you have alot in common with him?

Madison said that Tara does think she is someone special, she wouldn’t put it past her to lay down for him.  Then she dares Tara to do something, and Tara spit her gum at Madison.

Which leaves us to Velvet Sky.

Does she want a new best friend?  On a scale of 10, Velvet is a 6.5.  She can see where she is coming from, she lost her best friend and is landing as far as she can, but if she went with Kurt, she could go straight to the top.  The only thing she can do to get there is lay down, and she heard she is good at that.

Velvet swings at her, but Jeff grabs it from her and Velvet slaps Jeff.

Catfight!!

Angelina Love, still in a trance, with Winter comes in and takes care of Velvet for Karen.

Winter demands So Cal Val to ring a bell, and the match is on.

Angelina wins with the Botox Injection and a choke submission.  The story here was Angelina, still in her trance no sold most of what Velvet was giving her, and actually it wasn’t that bad.  She’s supposed to no-sell everything.  The way I want them to end this is to have Velvet switch the drugs that Winter is giving her to real kool-aid, okay something, maybe not kool-aid, but that would be funny.

Mr. Anderson arrives at The Impact Zone in a sweet truck.  The truck has sentimental value, it’s personal.  Life isn’t too bad living the life of an asshole, except one thing, he wants his freaking title shot.

Matt Morgan is looking for Scott Steiner, he wants his first ever TNA World Title.  He will eliminate Steiner before this starts.

Christe Hemme is announcing tonight, always nice to see her.  Mexican America come to the ring, and we see Willie Urbina and Hector Guerrero are very happy to see them.

Next week, they are going to celebrate Cinco De Mayo, and we will celebrate their flag. 

Anarquia will face Chris Sabin

Anarquia wins the match with a roll up, it seems Chris Sabin popped out his knee.  So the match ends suddenly, when they show Chris the Mexican falg, Alex Shelley comes out to help his tag team partner.  Good to see the return of Alex.

Scott Steiner is playing golf backstage, he pulls off his classic Scott Steiner promo.  He jumped Matt because he felt like doing it, no other reason.  Jason Hervey asks if Scott knew he was looking for him, Scott said he isn’t a hard man to find, now get out of here.

Morgan finds Steiner, and Scott attacks Morgan.  While he is pounding on Matt, he asks why he came after him, he’s not hard to find.  He was never in Division 1.  That’s funny.

Morgan turns the tide and Scott goes into a table that breaks.  He says nobody is going to avoid him from getting the title.  Scott now goes into a refridgerator.  Nobody gets in Morgan’s way.

Sting finds Mr. Anderson’s truck, not a good idea there.  He has his bat, and knocks the crap out of the truck.  Shatters the windshield.  Then calmly gets his stuff and walks away.  On second thought, let’s do more damage to the truck.  He leaves his bat to tell Ken who did this.

Coming up next, Christopher Daniels will face Gunner for the TNA Television Title.  The match is on now.

Gunner wins the match by nailing Daniels with the ring pole, and hits him with his Fisherman’s Carry Facebuster, they need to name that move.  Fun match here and the announcers did a good job putting over Gunner’s credentials.

Sting is on his way to the ring next.

That is a very cool ring jacket Sting is wearing.

Sting doesn’t know whose truck was out there, but they left their windows open.  He calls out Mr. Anderson, and here he comes, with a baseball bat, and he’s not happy.

He asks Sting if he smashed all of his windows out, Sting denies everything.  But he has videotape to prove it, Sting said it was.  Anderson said he will get them replaced, he won’t fall for Sting’s game, he’s rich Biotch.  Anderson said if Sting wants to play the games, he will one-up him every single time, but this could stop if Sting chooses Anderson as his opponent.  Let’s do it tonight on Impact.

Here comes RVD.

RVD appreciates that Sting is giving him a shot for the TNA Championship, he is doing it on good faith, he is okay with it, but as long as this asshole, Mr. Anderson is around, do whatever you have to do to shut him up.

Anderson said he got the blessing from Rob, so will say yes or no?

Sting said let’s do it tonight.

But Hulk Hogan has other plans.

Hogan loves to see Sting giving title shots to everyone to show he is the fightiest champion ever, brother.  That title shot he booked is now going to be a 3-way.  Hogan has the power too, Mr. Anderson isn’t going to walk out TNA Champion, Sting isn’t going to walk out as TNA Champion, it will be Bully Ray.  3-Way is set later tonight.  It’s Showtime.

Samoa Joe is backstage with Jason Hervey asking his thoughts on Crimson.  He’s impressive, especially with what he did to Abyss.  He has potential, but what he did in TNA will never be duplicated.  Crimson has never tapped out or pinned, but he’s never been in the ring with Joe.  If you’re in the ring with Joe, you’ll always lose.

Crimson taking on Samoa Joe is up now.

Crimson wins by DQ when Abyss come out and nails him from behind.  Joe walks by, and says okay.  Could he be turning heel?  Abyss runs Crimson into the steel steps.  Black Hole Slam, that is all she wrote.

Anderson said that winning is everything, but he doesn’t get a one on one re-match, he gets a 3-way.  But he is going to make lemonade out of lemons.

Still to come, 3-Way for the TNA Heavyweight Title, Sting Vs Mr. Anderson Vs Bully Ray.

Coming up next, Mickie James is heading to ring.

Kurt Angle said that Karen Jarrett doesn’t even know who the woman is, but she will next week, it’s real….Damn real.

Mickie James, the new TNA Knockouts champion is here now.

When she started in the business 12 years ago, she wanted to go down as the greatest Women’s Wrestler of all time.  Right now, she is dedicating her new Knockout Title for us, the fans.  We make their dreams a reality.  Because of that, she loves us and thanks us for that.

Bully Ray is with Abyss, and he loves the sound of Bully Ray, TNA Heavyweight champion.  That would piss off the wrestling world.  He would trade all 23 Tag Team Titles for 1 TNA Heavyweight Title.  Now he gets to beat up an asshole, and a man that loves to wear paint on his face.

TNA World Title match….3-Way between Sting Vs Mr. Anderson Vs Bully Ray right now.

For those of you keeping score at home, and you know who you are….JB is doing the main event title intro.

Sting wins with nailing Bully Ray with the lead pipe Ray brought with him.  AJ Styles gave him the assist when he came in and nailed The Pele Kick on Ray after the ref was knocked down.

Post match thoughts here, Bully Ray is upset AJ came into the ring.  We should be addressing him as the champion.  But now, Ray will take it out on AJ.  Maybe he won’t be nice anymore?  Next time, maybe concrete, maybe something else.  Ray told Jason to tell AJ it’s not his interest to show up next week.  What can he do to him?  He is a freaking warrior, he has been through everything.  The Golden Boy’s days are numbered.

AJ said that Ray will pay for what he did.  He has to put food on the table for his kids.

Scott Steiner said that Matt Morgan is half the man he is.  Scott is a Division 1, Matt is a Division 3.

Karen and Jeff are talking now.  She has a hit on her, and Velvet Sky tried to slap her.

Velvet Sky said Karen has the audacity to accuse her of being Kurt’s “mistress” hello, look at her.  Than her old BFF attacks her.  She is trying to be a better person, she wants to be left alone.

Jeff asks Karen if she has any enemies.  Someone is showing up next week, and it’s a bunch of crap.

The show ends here.

Kevin’s Thoughts:

Not as good of a show as last week’s, but it certainly had its moments.  First of all, I am becoming a huge Bully Ray fan.  He is the perfect heel, playing against the perfect babyface in AJ Styles. 

The main event match was fun, while it lasted.  The right ending happened here, so we can look forward to AJ Vs Bully Ray at Sacrifice.

Speaking of Sacrifice, the main event should be Sting Vs Mr. Anderson after we see the big truck being destroyed.  Nothing against RVD, but I thought it was clear that was the direction they are heading towards, I guess not.

Is it just me or did Angelina Love do well in her role as being “Tranced”?

Good to see Motor City Machineguns reunite, is there a MCMG Cs Mexican America in the future?

Is Scotty really mad at Matt Morgan for being on Division 3 or did he beat him in a game of Parchesi?

Has Samoa Joe turned to the side of the darkside? 

Will we see Kurt Angle’s “mistress” next week?

Will we see who is behind The Network next week?

Tune in next week and find out.  What were your thoughts on the show?  Send me your thoughts.

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About Kevin Gillman
I have had this blog up for a few years, writing every Monday night and anytime in between. Always check the site out, send me a comment on what your thoughts are for the current state of wrestling.

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