WWE Monday Night Raw 1/9/12…Kane Shows Cena How To Hate

I thought I would watch the Championship Football game tonight, and then watch Raw.  Boy, did I do the wrong thing.  Congratulations to Alabama though, they surely indeed rolled tide.  Now it’s time for our favorite Monday night program, so here we go.

Footage from last week is shown where Kane tries to send Zack Ryder to hell, but Cena saved him.

Here comes Kane to start the show off.

He sees the disapproving looks, he hears the disapproving whispers, questioning Kane why he embraces hate.  We are predictable, and in denial.  We all get up, next to a spouse we can’t stand, go to a job, we despise, and come home to children we say we love, but deep down we think to ourselves that they are nothing but soft, spoiled little disappointments.  We all live lives with pure hate, but we don’t embrace it.  Either because we are cowards or we filled our lives with delusions of hope, like John Cena.  Cena represents hope, success, and the things we all aspire to achieve, but we can’t.  We should see Cena as our own failures, and unfulfilled dreams.  It should anger us, and it does.  When we say “Cena Sucks”, we are saying we suck.  Because we refuse to embrace the hate that is bubbling inside of us.  We like to think of us as decent human beings, but we are liars.  We cheer for the underdogs, but in reality, we hate them.  Look at Zack Ryder, we made him a star, but that proves to mean nothing.  Last week, he was on his way to sending Zack straight to hell, but Cena saved him.  But all of that meant was delaying the inevitable, because unlike us, Kane always gets what he wants.

Here comes Cena, and he is here for a fight.

The fight goes all the way into the crowd, backstage, and even outside.  Kane knocks Cena down, and then he disappears, just like that, as we go to a commercial.

Michael Cole and Jerry “The King” Lawler welcome us back, and we see what took place moments ago.  Kane has the upper hand in this battle.

Our first match is a tag team match, with Sheamus and Santino Marella, facing Wade Barrett and Jinder Mahal.

Sheamus and Santino won with a Cobra from Santino, on Jinder Mahal.  After the match, the two celebrate.

We are in John Laurinaitis’ office, Miz is pleading to get a bodyguard for himself.  John has many other things to worry about, and he has to take care if business.  He’s not Little Jimmy, he is Big Johnny.

Coming up next, we will find out the first induction into the WWE Hall of Fame.

When we come back, we find out who the first inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame, and it has become Rated R….That’s right, it’s Edge.  Very well deserved.

A second inductee will be announced later tonight.

We are seeing The Miz ask Mason Ryan to serve as his bodyguard, it’s not working.

Zack Ryder is on the phone, he said he was scared of Kane, but when Eve came up to him, he said he will look for Kane.  Eve checks in on him, and wants to know how he is doing, he is saying, no sweat.  He asks her out on a date, and she accepts.  However, she has to face Beth Phoenix first.

She leaves, and he does too and we see that Kane is watching Zack, very closely.

Our next match is Daniel Bryan facing Kofi Kingston.

Daniel Bryan makes Kofi tap out with the Labell Lock.

Daniel celebrates like he won the World Series again, and even jumps on the announce table, and here comes The Big Show. 

Show tries to approach Daniel about last week, and he interrupts him.  Daniel hated the way it ended last week too, he is a fighting champion, and will give Show a title shot when he wants.

Show tells us that Teddy Long made the match official that this week on Smackdown, Daniel and Show will have a No DQ, No Countout match.  Daniel reluctantly agrees, and shakes Show’s hand.

Tonight, Chris Jericho will show up again, will he speak?  We’ll also have CM Punk Vs Jack Swagger, and coming up next, the long-awaited return of Brodus Clay.

Royal Rumble Rewind, from 1994 when Bret “The Hitman” Hart and Lex Luger win the Rumble.

Our next match is a man from Planet Funk, the Funkasaurous, Brodus Clay.

And Brodus has become the new version of Flash Funk, complete with his Funkettes.

Clay is facing Curt Hawkins, now.

His music makes me want to sing the classic “We Want The Funk” by George Clinton.

In the name of Holy P.N. News, what are they doing to this young kid?  Well, Brodus won with a body splash, and that is all we can say about this.

Zack Ryder is brushing his teeth, getting ready for his big date Eve.  He believes he sees Kane, and he does.

The Miz is talking to Primo and Epico, they aren’t impressed with helping him out, CM Punk walks by him, laughing about his predicament.

Punk Vs Swagger, is up next.

Our esteemed GM, John Laurinaitis came out before Punk Vs Swagger match started, to say that since he is a fair and partial man, if Punk wins his match tonight, then Vickie Guerrero and Jack Swagger are banned from Ziggler Vs Punk match at Royal Rumble, and later tonight, Ziggler faces Cena.

Punk won the match, or did he?  The referee counted to three, despite Swagger kicking out at 2.  Good match between the two here, but a crappy ending.  The thing I can’t believe is King sounding like an idiot, saying it was a close call, despite it being so obvious.  I have to think it was set up like that, so they can say that Laurinaitis won’t make that same mistake, but didn’t HHH prove that to be wrong a few months ago when he was the special guest ref at Summerslam?

Earlier tonight, John Cena was beat down by Kane, but he disappeared.

Cena is no-selling the beatdown and cutting jokes with Zack Ryder.  Cena informed us that @ZackRyder has passed @MikeTheMiz for the most followers on Twitter.  He has to keep things together.

Zack is looking behind him though, looking for Kane.

The Bella Twins are bickering again, and Ricardo Rodriguez wants to know the deal-yo.  They wanted Ricardo to give Alberto a message, but The Miz interrupts the fun.  He wants Ricardo to call out R-Truth.  Other superstars are afraid of The Truth, but Ricardo can be brave enough to call him out, distract him, and The Miz will take care of the rest, or else he can join Del Rio on the injured list.

The second inductee of the WWE Hall of Fame are The Four Horsemen, as a group.  Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Tully Blanchard, Barry Windham, and J.J. Dillon.

Ricardo Rodriguez is in the ring, he’s now talking about R-Truth’s Mom, and saying his breath stinks, and here he comes.

Hola Ricardo!!

Why does he want to pick a fight with Truth?  He has it all wrong, he’s not a bad man, he’s a good R-Truth.  Little Jimmy told him he should let bygones be bygones, and let Ricardo go.

Little Jimmy, shall he let Ricardo go?  No!!

Little Jimmy wants R-Truth to turn Ricardo into a pinnate.  Ricardo wants The Miz to come out, but he doesn’t do so.

Truth wants RR to sing La Caracas, and he does.

Truth wants to hear it one more time, but Ricardo drops Truth’s microphone, and he receives Paydirt.

But The Miz attacks Truth from behind.

Truth gets the upper hand, and Miz runs out to the crowd.

Still to come, John Cena Vs Dolph Ziggler, and coming up next, Chris Jericho speaks.

Here comes the only man to ever defeat Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock on the same night to become the first ever Undisputed World Heavyweight Champion, Chris Jericho.

Chris is so overwhelmed by the crowd, that he is crying, and leaves the ringside.

Royal Rumble Rewind, from 1998 when Stone Cold Steve Austin won the Rumble.

When we come back, Eve is ready for her match with Beth Phoenix, but Kane’s music hits.  Kane is nowhere to be found, however Zack Ryder comes out to the ring, to get Eve out-of-the-way.  We see them run out of the building, and into a car.  The problem is there is a flat tire, and Zack changes it, when we go to a commercial break.  Coming up next, Dolph Ziggler will face John Cena.

When we come back, Zack is still trying to change his tire, very entertaining indeed.

“The Showoff” Dolph Ziggler Vs John Cena, now.

Dolph wins the match by a countout when Kane appeared on the Titantron, attacked Zack Ryder, and when Cena found him, we see Zack on the concrete, laid out.  Kane attacks Cena from behind and shoves him on the concrete too, and as the camera rolls, we hear Kane laugh and the show ends here.

Kevin’s Thoughts:

I apologize for this being two days late, but honestly, this show was complete garbage.  It’s like the writers knew full well the College Football game was going to kill them in the ratings, so they did a half ass job of writing this show.

What bothers me the most though was how they completely ignored Dolph Ziggler’s pursuit of the WWE Title at Royal Rumble.  The show should be building him up big, but they aren’t.  It’s still the John Cena Show, but come on, give Dolph a bone.

I will say one positive thing, Chris Jericho.  He truly is the best in the world, at what he does.  He had the crowd again in the palm of his hand, without saying one word.  How much longer can that last?  Let’s find out.

We are now approaching 2 weeks from the Royal Rumble, time to kick it in high gear here and truly set the matches up.  No more stalling.  What did you think of the show?  Send me your message by emailing me at DJKevinGillman75@aol.com or send me a message on the site.

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About Kevin Gillman
I have had this blog up for a few years, writing every Monday night and anytime in between. Always check the site out, send me a comment on what your thoughts are for the current state of wrestling.

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