WWE Monday Night Raw 7/23/12….Raw 1000

It’s hard to believe, there are kids that live today who has never had a Monday night without seeing Raw, but back in my day, (Did I really just say that?), there was no “Monday Night Raw”, there was a show I enjoyed called “Primetime Wrestling” with the late, great Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby “The Brain” Heenan hosting the show, and they had clips from house shows, featuring wrestling, or footage from this past weekend’s “Superstars” and “Wrestling Challenge”. 

When I first saw “Monday Night Raw”, I truly missed “Primetime” and was not into “Raw”, but when they started to incorporate storylines, it was something different.  Things like Money Inc damaging Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake’s face, and Brutus’ good friend Hulk Hogan came to his aid, or how about the time 1-2-3 Kid defeated Razor Ramon, and Razor put $100,000 on the line to face 1-2-3 Kid again, and prove it was a fluke.

But 19 years have gone on, and Raw has evolved since those days, yet the formula has been the same.  Celebrate 1,000 episodes with me tonight, with a 3-hour show that will feature a WWE Title match with John Cena Vs CM Punk.

But we start with DX, are you ready?  Let’s do this thing.

We start with a great video, showcasing the past Raw moments.  Many surprises are in store tonight, some we know already, and hopefully others we did not know.  I did not go on any wrestling sites on purpose today, because I want to be surprised as I am typing this.

Like I said, many fond memories, many people have sweat, bled, and paid the price over the last 19 years, and with that being said.  We are live in St. Louis, Missouri.

January 11th, 1993 until July 22nd, 2012, Michael Cole and Jerry “The King” Lawler welcome us to the show, and here comes the Chairman of WWE, Vince McMahon.

Vince would like to say thank you.  The crowd chants right back with thank you Vince.  But he’d like to say…Welcome to Monday Night Raw, only like Vince can, and please welcome Degeneration X.

Are you ready?

Bow to the masters….

Break it down, and here comes HBK and HHH.

HBK is out of breath, hey he hasn’t done this in a few years, so we’ll give him some slack.  He feels like he is missing something, he has his pants on, his underwear, but he still feels like something is missing.

HHH agrees, he has everything, but what can it be?

Does HHH have his underwear on?  But wait, wasn’t there used to be more of them?

Oh hell yeah!!

HHH can’t hear, didn’t he just say there used to be more of us.

And here they come, X-Pac, Road-Dogg, and “Bad Ass” Billy Gunn, now this is awesome.

The band is back together….

All five of them were pioneers, but I have to think there is one more person that is missing.

St. Louis, we are about to take you on a Missouri boat ride.  Straight down memory lane.  Now Degeneration X and WWE is proud to present the 5-time WWE Tag team Champions of the WOOOOOOORRRRRRRRLLLLLLLD….The Road-Dogg Jesse James, Bad Ass Billy Gunn, The New Age Outlaws.

HHH asks are you ready?  He said are you ready?  For the thousands in attendance, and the millions watching around the world, and to himself because he is the only one with a full head of hair, for the 1,000th episode, and he will see us in the 2,000th episode…..Let’s Get Ready To SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUCK IT!!!!!!!!!

Billy Gunn and Shawn are ready to do their part, but they both want to do it.  HHH decides they both can do it together.  So is it on 1….2….3 do it?  Or 1…2…3…then go?

1….2…..3….

Hallelujah….

Damien Sandow is here to interrupt the fun.

He is here to educate the masses.  This is what WWE and the society has come down to, common degenerates with sophomoric humor, brainwashing the public.

HBK agrees, he is going to church, and asking for forgiveness, again.

Damien knows they can attack him and throw him away, like common trash, but he would not be a victim, he would be a meteoric.

HHH said they need to gather around and discuss what they will do, and this is what they decided.

Sweet Chin Music, with a Pedigree, on top of it.

Billy Gun says if you’re not down with it, we have two words for ya….

Suck it!!

Tonight, The Rock will make his return to WWE, and he will address the WWE Title, we also have Brock Lesnar making his return, and he’ll have his answer to HHH’s Summerslam challenge, and we are invited to Daniel Bryan and AJ’s wedding.

DX is posing on the ramp, now that was a great way to start the show off.

Tonight is the gateway to Raw 1,000.  And here comes WWE Hall of Famer, Good Ol’ JR…..Jim Ross.

Sporting a goatee, and he is here to do some commentary.

Mr. 619 himself, Rey Mysterio is out for a match, he is in a 6 man tag team match, teaming with Sin Cara and Sheamus.  They are facing Chris Jericho, Dolph Ziggler, and Alberto Del Rio.

Sheamus, Rey, and Sin Cara win the match with a Brogue Kick, by Sheamus on Chris Jericho.  Dolph Ziggler took a shot on Jericho, though, costing his team the match.

Tonight, The Rock will join us, and address the WWE Universe.

We see WWE Touts from the fans, discussing the wedding between Daniel Bryan and AJ.

Cole and King are talking to Charlie Sheen.  I thought he quit his Twitter account?  But regardless, he is here through Skype.

Video is now being shown, showcasing the love between AJ and Daniel Bryan.

AJ is chatting with Layla, she wants this night to be special, and Layla is asking her if she is sure that she wants to go through this?

AJ wants to know why everyone asks if she is unstable, everyone is unstable, she opens the door and we see “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan, we now see R-Truth playing double dutch with “Rowdy” Roddy Piper, and Little Jimmy.  We also see Mae Young, with her son….hand.  Because Mae Young gave birth to a hand some years ago, and now he is all grown up.

Good luck, AJ.

Tonight’s official Raw 1000 episode is brought to you by Outasight called “Tonight Is The Night”.

This segment is apparently brought to us by Sonic.

Here comes The Funky Funkasaurus, along with Naomi and Cameron.

Somebody call my Momma.

Wow, Brodus will defeat Jack Swagger.  Why do they continue to job Jack out?

Brodus wants to welcome us Dude Love, and here he comes.  I have money on the fact Mick Foley will come out 4 times tonight.  Cactus Jack, Mankind, and Mick are all due up.

Body splash, and that’s all she wrote, in about 20 seconds.

Brodus and Dude dance, and Jack comes back, but is met with a Mandible Claw.

Trish Stratus is with HHH.  She is showing him about yoga.

DX sees this, with HHH bent down.

Daniel Bryan seems to be talking to people in white coats, and they aren’t wearing tuxedos.  The wedding is coming up next.

Tonight, WWE Title match with CM Punk Vs John Cena.

It is time for the wedding between AJ and Daniel Bryan.

Jerry “The King” Lawler welcomes the reverend for tonight’s wedding….Slick, the Doctor of Style.

Here comes Daniel Bryan….Yes!!  Yes!!  Yes!!

Here comes the beautiful AJ in a wedding dress.

We are all a part of the wedding party, does that mean we need to get them gifts?

Slick is already doing a great job.

Is there anyone here tonight, who believe these two should never get married.  Speak now, or forever hold their peace.

The crowd is booing, does that count?

Slick hands Daniel the ring.

Daniel says that they have had their ups and downs, but once he puts the ring on AJ, they will be married, and he will have everything he always wanted.

Do you Daniel take AJ to be your wife?

Yes….

AJ, do you….

Yes!!  Yes!!  Yes!!

Slick says that by the state of….

Wait…..she wasn’t saying yes to Daniel, she was saying yes to someone else.

Another man who made a proposal to her earlier tonight.

Vince McMahon.

It’s not a proposal that you think, it’s a proposal that makes Raw 1,001 and beyond worth remembering…..Allow him to introduce to us, the new Raw General Manager….

AJ

Wow, I did not expect that.

Yes!!  Yes!!  Yes!!  Yes!!  Yes!!

Daniel destroys the set.

We come back, and Daniel has still snapped.

Enter CM Punk.

He’s not here to rub salt in his face, but he did just get stood up at the altar.  Daniel can continue to sulk, AJ is named the GM, he will continue to be the WWE Champion, and Daniel can continue to mope around, he is the greatest in the world.

Daniel said greatest Wrestler?  he’s not the greatest Wrestler in the ring, Daniel is the greatest of all time.

If Ya Smell What The Rock is Cooking….

Here comes the Most Electrifying Man in Sports Entertainment.

The Rock.

Some of the crowd is booing him, others are chanting Rocky.

Daniel doesn’t get to say who the greatest of all time is, they get to say who the greatest of all time is.

Now that they chanted that, the People’s Champ gets to say this….Finally The Rock has come back to St. Louis.

The Rock says….

Hey….he doesn’t know.

No….no….no…you don’t cut The Rock off like that.

Now we get Boots to Asses chant.

It was right here, when The Rock won his first WWE Title, in St. Louis.  But The Rock isn’t here right now to talk to Frotho.  The Rock is here to talk about the WWE Championship.

At the Royal Rumble, whoever the WWE Champion is will go one on one with The Great One, and will defend that title against The Rock.

That’s great news, because he will fill in the blank now, that man will be against CM Punk.  He will beat John Cena tonight, and he wishes Royal Rumble was tomorrow, because he will beat The Rock.

St. Louis is the first place The Rock won his 1st WWE Title, and at Royal Rumble, The Rock will be the next WWE Champion.

No….no….no….no, this was supposed to be his night.  Do you want to know who Rock will face?  Somehow, someway, he will face Daniel Bryan, and he will become the face of the WWE.

The face of the WWE, we see what a homeless lumberjack will father a oompa loompa.  The Rock is here to talk about the WWE Title, so he wants to wish CM Punk good luck tonight, and beat John Cena, like he knows he will, and for Daniel Bryan, he has a gift for him anyway, and he delivers a Rock Bottom.

Brock Lesnar is in the building, and what is his answer to HHH’s challenge at Summerslam?  We will find out tonight, and we’ll also see John Cena Vs CM Punk, for the WWE Title.

And the Cleveland Indians just won a big game for them, 3-1.  Now, bring on Detroit this week.

Okay, back to Wrestling.

Justin Roberts introduces us to the special guest ring announcer….”The Best There Is….The Best There Was….and The Best There Ever Will Be” Bret “The Hitman” Hart.

One of the greatest moments of his career was winning his first Intercontinental Title against “Mr. Perfect” Curt Hennig.

So, he introduces the two participants for tonight’s Intercontinental Title match.  Christian Vs The Miz.

The Miz defeated Christian to become the new Intercontinental Champion, with a Skull Crushing Finale, and yes folks….he is indeed awesome.

Charlie Sheen is with us, and he’s just there, because WWE is paying him.  Winning.

Still to come tonight, WWE Title match with CM Punk Vs John Cena.

Regis Philbin is here, he is a WWE fan, always has been.

Here comes The Game, and I have a feeling he is here on serious business.

HHH said it’s time to pick up the intensity a bit.  He called him out, he wants a fight, at Summerslam and he wants an answer, now.

But Brock does not come out, Paul Heyman, instead.

HHH said he came out to talk to the horse’s head, not the horse’s ass.

Heyman confirms his client, Brock Lesnar is here.  And he has authorized Heyman to give him an answer.  If he wants a match at Summerslam, his answer is no.

So if Lesnar is here, how about HHH finds him, now.  Is that really good for business, with two liable lawsuits against WWE?

Does that mean Brock is a coward?  Is he truly afraid and scared of HHH?

Is he a child?  Does he raise his children like this?

HHH slams the mic, and says he doesn’t talk about his family.

That’s okay, he apologizes, and went over the line.  But he feels sorry for his children.

Now here comes Stephanie McMahon, and she is not amused.

Let’s get this straight Heyman, you don’t talk about her children.  The truth is this lawsuit isn’t about Brock Lesnar, it’s about Paul Heyman’s failures.  His failure at ECW, and his failure at WWE.  He refers himself to a visionary?  He is nothing like her father.  At least her father had the guts to step into the ring, and face HHH.  You want to talk about his kids?  they are ashamed of Paul, because all he has become is a parasite, and she slaps him.

You want this?  You want a match with Brock?  You want to ruin your career?  You got it.  The match is set for Summerslam.

Stephanie always gets what she wants.  Daddy’s Little Girl always gets what she wants, and here we go, as Stephanie attacks Heyman, we get….

Brock Lesnar.

The two of them fight in the ring, and HHH gets Brock out of the ring, standing tall.

Wow, business has just picked up.

And still to come tonight, WWE Title match, John Cena Vs CM Punk.

More Touts, oh boy.

Now we see footage featuring Vince McMahon Vs “Stone Cold” Steve Austin.

Santino and Hornswoggle are out, handing out Brawling Buddies to the kids.

Our next special guest ring announcer is WWE Hall of Famer Howard Finkel.

Here comes “The One Man Southern Rock Band” Heath Slater.

He said the past is history, and everyone will be talking about how epic his match is going to be.  He wants to challenge any legend to a No DQ match.

Lita answers the call.

Lita, you really think you can beat Heath?  Okay, he accepts the challenge, so bell-ringer, ring the bell.

Lita wants Heath to know she hired some protection.

APA…Bradshaw and Ron Simmons are out.

Heath starts to leave, but here comes all of the legends Heath has faced in recent weeks.

Now we get a customary “Damn” by Ron Simmons.

Twist of Fate by Lita….Clothesline from Hell by Bradshaw.

Moonsault by Lita, 1…2…3

Earlier tonight, Vince McMahon told us the new Raw General Manager is AJ.

Daniel flips out, and The Rock bought a gift for Daniel, anyway, a certified Rock Bottom.

Standing by with Daniel Bryan…Sean Mooney.

This entire night has been tainted.  He has been left by AJ, he has been assaulted by The Rock, and insulted by Charlie Sheen.  Who is he to judge?  If he was standing here, he would put Charlie Sheen in a Yes Lock  faster than he can say “Winning”.

Alex Guerrero, Jr. is tonight’s WWE Social Media Follower, because he is WWE’s 1,000,000th follower.

Now a video of the greatest WWE catchphrases, hosted by Fozzie the Bear.

Zack Ryder and John Cena are with “Mean” Gene Okerlund, Zack believes that Gene was behind GTV.

The Rock is face to face with John Cena.

The Rock is here to say good luck to Cena, and John reminded him that The Rock has a WWE Title shot at The Royal Rumble.

Cena said that he will go one on one with The Great One at The Rumble.

Rock is looking forward to that match.

CM Punk Vs John Cena, WWE Title match.  Tonight.

When we come back, here comes Kane.  He is facing Jinder Mahal.

Jinder is with Tyler Reks, Curt Hawkins, Drew McIntyre, Camacho, and Hunico.

They are here to take what is theirs.

Bong!!

Bong!!

Bong!!

It is indeed “The Phenom” The Undertaker.

The Brothers of Destruction reunite.

They take care of the 6 men, with ease.  Double Chokeslam….Double Tombstone.  And now?  Double pose.

As Cole just said, the dark days are back.

A rally today from Be A Star in St. Louis video is being played.

Coming up next, John Cena Vs CM Punk, in a WWE Title match.

But first, we have Charlie Sheen.

Charlie said to bring it to Daniel Bryan.

Charlie said the next time Daniel is in Los Angeles, he’ll meet him anywhere.  Well, they are in Los Angeles on August 19th, at Summerslam.

Our main event, John Cena Vs CM Punk is now.

CM Punk is DQ’d thanks to Big Show knocking Cena away when Cena had Punk in a STF.  Earlier in the match, Show knocked Cena out when the ref was bumped, and Punk seemed conflicted to pin him.  After he revived the ref, Cena kicked out on 2.  So Show ended the match, and The Rock came out to help Cena, only to see Punk kick Rock down.  Yes my friends, CM Punk just turned heel.  And it was bloody brilliant, Punk walked off looking at his hands in disgust, and we end the show here.

Kevin’s Thoughts:

This was a fun show from top to bottom.  Not even a slow pace at all, every segment ran smooth, and the ending sealed the deal.  CM Punk as a fresh heel always works for me.  Now he can make fun of the little John Cena fans, and we might have a preview for The Rock Vs CM Punk at Royal Rumble.  I can’t see anyone beating Punk from here until January for the title.  The seeds were thrown last week when Show brought up how everything revolves around John Cena, no matter what.  We might have a Triple Threat match for the WWE Title for Summerslam, but it would mean more if it was a one on one match with John Cena Vs CM Punk.  This also means that Cena is the first man to cash in a Money in the Bank briefcase, and not win the title.

It can happen.

AJ as the new General Manager is an awesome choice too, it’s new, and she is fresh, a different diva.  This could be fun, and she can go toe to toe with the best of them.

As for the rest of the show, Brock and HHH certainly raised their intensity, and their Summerslam match is looking better after this segment.  The returns were all great, but there was one person missing, and that was “Stone Cold” Steve Austin.  It’s one thing to not have one of their biggest money-making superstars not appear, since Hulk Hogan isn’t with them, that’s fine, but to not have your other money-maker, and the true man who pioneered the “Attitude Era” in Austin is just inexcusable.  I was not around the internet, so perhaps this was because his schedule would not permit it, but it’s still strange not to see him.  Maybe we’ll hear more about that in the later weeks?

But regardless, I already can’t wait to see how Punk explains his heel turn next week.  Great start to the 3-hour format.  I also loved seeing The Miz truly make the IC Title win seem big, as it should be.  What were your thoughts on tonight’s show?  Sound off, and let me know.

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About Kevin Gillman
I have had this blog up for a few years, writing every Monday night and anytime in between. Always check the site out, send me a comment on what your thoughts are for the current state of wrestling.

3 Responses to WWE Monday Night Raw 7/23/12….Raw 1000

  1. Pingback: watch movie trailers, film and movie trailers, movie film reviews and ratings » Sacrifice

  2. adztheman says:

    Really have to give it to Creative tonight…they had an impossible task, and pulled it off..excellent show with some real high points..

    Great to see Lita..the girls look fantastic..that’s somebody who needs to be added to the roster, right now..

    The DX segment was excellent..great to see everybody back together..

    I could have done without Sin “Man of 1,001 Botches” Cara, and Brutus..sick of both of them..

    The A-J swerve was fantastic..she needed a bridesmaid..just to handle the train of her dress…if you notice, she’s looking behind her when she gets to the mic to make sure she’s altogether…

    Loved the sneakers with the dress..you get a look when she’s skipping up the ramp…

    Great stuff from the Rock..

    I think we had a record Monday..four new shirts..DX with two shirts, and the Rock, along with somebody else who I can’t remember..

    I enjoyed the revolt of the midcarders which turned into Taker and Kane..nice job..

    Brock Triple H should be interesting just to see what happens..

    Glad to see Punk slowly turning heel..just means more pipe bombs with a reason to deliver them..

    They could have used a fourth hour..you got the feeling that as the show progressed, even WWE realized it..

  3. Pingback: Paul Heyman at WWE Scandales

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