WWE Monday Night Raw 1/22/13…The Path To The Royal Rumble

Royal Rumble is this Sunday, which means, this is the final Raw before the big event.  What will take place between The Rock and CM Punk?

Here we go.

Martin Luther King Jr video is playing.

We are live in San Jose, California.

Excuse Me….

Excuse Me…..

Vickie Guerrero comes out with Paul Heyman, oh boy.

It is her job to make sure we are entertained by her show.  She is always a professional, and will always do the right thing.  Because as a leader, doing the right thing is not always the most popular thing, especially when it comes to The Rock.

Ladies and gentlemen, his name is Paul Heyman.

He is here to show a sign of solidarity and unity with Ms. Guerrero.  One man decided to defame not just himself, but also the best General Manager, and may he say the sexiest General Manager of any show, and that man is The Rock.

We see footage of The Rock singing to Paul Heyman in his Rock Concert last week.

Heyman is irate, and to pick a fight with him is one thing, but to pick a fight with a widow last week is uncalled for.  The things he said to Vickie, he never would have said to anyone.

We hear Rock’s song for Vickie.

“Biaatch, You Look Horrible Tonight”.

The Rock is here at San Jose, she has officially banned him from her arena.  If he shows up, he will be arrested by the San Jose police department.

A stagehand tells her he is here, and Vickie wants a camera to show The Rock’s expression that he can’t enter the arena.

Vickie wants to screw the people, the officers have a job to do, but there is not an entity that can stop him from entertaining the people tonight.

The cop informs him they have no choice but to arrest The Rock is he crosses the line.

How about they arrest CM Punk for impersonating a champion.  He is like Monte Te’O, except an imaginary girlfriend, he has an imaginary nutsack.

They need to arrest Paul Heyman, for not wearing a bra in public, because his chest is scaring kids.

Arrest Vickie Guerrero, no, ask her about her intestines, because if she thinks for one second The Rock is not going to hit the ring tonight, then clearly, she has her head straight up her ass.

The cops know The Rock is relentless, and there is no way…..And The Rock means no way, he is not going to the ring to electrify the fans, because it’s not a matter of if, it’s a matter of when.

You think that is funny?  If Rock gets into the ring, the only song he is going to sing is “Jailhouse Rock”.

Heyman says that is very clever, and Vickie screams….if Ya Smell….Excuse Me….What The Vick is cooking.

Tonight, a Beat The Clock challenge, with 6 competitors, the winner of the shortest time will choose what number they enter in the Royal Rumble.

Randy Orton Vs Antonio Cesaro, is next.

Orton wins the match with a RKO in 11:36.  I surely hope we get a few long matches like this tonight.

We find out the very first HOF inductee is none other than Mick Foley, and we see that same video from Friday night.

A message from The Shield, they tell us to open our eyes, or they will do it for us.

And we see a video of what The Shield has done for the last two months.

Believe in The Shield, they are just getting started.

Here comes The Big Show, set for a match.  He is going to face Zack Ryder.

Big Show will face Alberto Del Rio in a Last Man Standing match, for the World Heavyweight Title.

Brad Maddox joins us at the commentary table, jumping over the barricade, now he leaves after Show hits the WMD on Ryder, to win the match.

Show stands on top of Ryder, to show us what will happen at Royal Rumble, he counts to 5, but the crowd starts “what” Show, and he leaves.

Coming up next, Ryback Vs Heath Slater.

When we come back, Paul Heyman is on the phone, and we see Brad Maddox again.

Brad talks to the camera and says he would do nothing to assure he becomes a big star, nothing.  Heyman was wrong about Brad, he respects his will, and if he sticks with him, he will be a big star.

3MB is in the ring, set for Heath Slater’s match against Ryback.

This won’t last long.

Shellshock, match is over.

Ryback has the mic, this Sunday is his first Royal Rumble match.  A match he was made for, and a match he can thrive on.  The match that will lead him to a main event at Wrestlemania.

Feed me more.

The Rock is still trying to get into the building.

They are not here to protect and serve Vickie Guerrero, they don’t wear badges to protect and serve Vickie Guerrero, they work for the people.  The people have earned their money, and pay their money to come and see The Rock.  If you hear now, you will hear 15,000 people chant The Rock’s name.

We hear Rocky chants.

A cop had tickets, his wife and kid are in the building, they came to see The Rock.

Vickie Guerrero comes out, and says they will do what she is told, or else they are suspended.

While he stands out here, the WWE Champion CM Punk will address the people next.  But she can lift the ban if he apologizes to her.

He has two problems with that, one, he will make his way to the ring tonight, on his time, and two, Biaatch, she STILL look horrible tonight.

She walks away, and The Rock has an idea.

Next Monday night, it is the return of Raw Roulette, spin the wheel, make the deal.

Here comes the WWE Champion, CM Punk with Paul Heyman.

Punk holds the WWE Title dearly, more so than most fathers hold their kids.  For 428 days, he has treated this with care, the most prestigious title in our industry, and not even The Rock can stop him.  The Rock is here to electrify, he is here to entertain, and he will not allow him to walk away with this title.  This title is prestigious, and he has made it that way.  What is prestigious to The Rock is something meaningless, the people.

The Rock is proud to be The People’s Champion, almost as proud as he is of being a REAL champion.  He will not allow The Rock to be a champion, because he has been in the ring with him, he has seen inside his soul, and he knows he can’t be this…WWE Champion.

A long time ago, Punk was to make a choice, between being a hypocrite, or an honest arrogance, and chose to be an honestly arrogant.  This is what he chose, being The Man, and he has earned that right.  In 6 days, Rock, this is a collision he is going to tangle with, so for now, enjoy being a part of The People, he hopes he slaps fans hands, sign autographs, enjoy the moment, because the people do not matter.  Because in 6 days, The Royal Rumble, it doesn’t matter what The Rock is cooking, because these people cannot give you this, because after 6 days, Punk will still be the undisputed, best in the world WWE Champion….CM Punk.

A very good promo.

Tonight, John Cena addresses the WWE Universe, and will address his opponents at the Royal Rumble.

Our next Beat The Clock match is Dolph Ziggler Vs The Miz.  Either man has to beat 11:36 to grab the lead.

Dolph Ziggler wins with a Zig Zag, with 37 seconds left in the match.  Big E. had some brass knuckles to hit The Miz, and distracted him long enough to pick up the win.  The official match time is 10:56.

This coming Saturday, there will be a Royal Rumble fest, in Phoenix.

Coming up next, Team Hell No graduate from Anger Management.

When we come back, we see Dr. Shelby is in the ring, ready to give diplomas to Kane and Daniel Bryan, collectively known as Team Hell No.

They come out to the ring, in gowns, but no caps.

Dr. Shelby is so proud of both men, Kane went from a monster with a mask, that attacked people just for looking at him wrong, and Daniel was a man-child that would be upset in a second, if anyone mentioned his goatface.

Now the two of them make him proud, and he hands them their hats, and diplomas.

Now, who should the valedictorian be?

Kane and Daniel think the other person should be, and they argue until Dr. Shelby tells them to quiet down, and asks them if they want to hug.

What about Michael Cole and Jerry “The King” Lawler, will they hug?

Yes, they will hug, and they do that.

What about Dr. Jerry Sampson, and Justin Roberts, will they hug?


What about the fans, will they hug?

That person in the back, with the yellow sign that says Kane and Daniel Bryan?


We all hug, every single one of us, and yet we all feel better.

John Cena will address the WWE Universe, now I feel worse.

When we come back, Kaitlyn will face Alicia Fox.

Kailyn wins the match with a spear.

Paul Heyman wants CM Punk to watch from a skybox, because he has a Paulbomb, not a Pipebomb, but a Paulbomb, next.

Heyman is back in the ring, to say he is not just the voice of the voiceless of the voiceless, but he also is the strategist of the WWE Champion, CM Punk.  So therefore, tonight, in honor of Punk he will also be the interpreter, so he can keep it simple for us.

Many people believe it’s a far gone conclusion Rock is going to win at The Rumble, but that is not going to happen.  Vince McMahon is desperate to take the Title reigns off of Punk, and it seems The Rock’s concentration is on Paul Heyman, when it should be on the most dominant WWE Champion of the last 25 years.

In other words, The Rock is stupid.

Here comes The Rock, with a ticket.

The Rock is staring at CM Punk.

To the San Jose police department, he says thank you for the ticket,

Heyman tries to talk, and he calls Heyman a Twinkie tit, and get his fat ass out of the ring, Heyman does that.

CM Punk, 428 days, he has been the WWE Champion.  He knows how tough he is, and has earned to call himself the best in the world, but it does not change the fact that tonight is his very last Monday Night Raw as WWE Champion.

He’s obsessed with how The Rock entertains them, he is obsessed with how The Rock takes pride in that, but it doesn’t change the fact that outside the arena, he will rip his face off.

The Rock has waited for 10 long years for this shot, he has earned this shot for 10 long years.  Just like Martin Luther King, The Rock has a dream, and he will earn that.  If Punk looked deep inside his soul, he knows The Rock will beat him this Sunday.  When that happens all of the people from Bangkok from brazil, to Miami, all the way to San Jose, the people will yell out free at last, free at last, thank God all might, they are free at last.

The lights go out, and here come The Shield.

The Shield take out The Rock with a Triple Power Bomb.

Punk speaks on the mic, and he says there is only room for one at the top.  Free at last?  He believes in dreams, the problem is you always have to wake up from those dreams.  And when he wakes up, he realizes The Great One isn’t great enough for the best in the world.

Punk raises his title high in the air, when we go to a break.

Tonight, we honor “The Dream”, Martin Luther King.

Moments ago, we see what we just saw….The Shield laying out The Rock.

Sheamus is out next for the Beat The Clock match, with the time set at 10:56.  He is facing Wade Barrett, now.

Sheamus hits a Brogue Kick, but the clock runs out, and Dolph Ziggler wins the Beat The Clock Challenge.  Sheamus had things his way, with :56 seconds left, but Ziggler, AJ, and Big E. run to the ring, with AJ skipping to the ring, and distracts both men.

Ziggler will now select what number he is entering the Rumble with.

Tonight, John Cena addresses the WWE Universe.

Vickie Guerrero is in her office, and Ziggler comes bragging, saying he won.  Then he makes out with AJ.  He gets to choose what number he picks.  Vickie makes it clear he can’t pick any number, he gets to choose either 1, or 2.

Earlier tonight, The Shield attacked The Rock.

Rock was able to get up, and leave under his own power.

Heyman and Punk are backstage again, and they run into of all people, Vince McMahon.

They had nothing to do with The Shield earlier tonight, and Vince threatens that if The Shield has anything to do with their match Sunday night, there will be consequences.

Heyman says that The Shield has attacked other superstars, and there is no evidence.

Vince makes it clear, if The Shield, or anyone else interfere in their match this Sunday, he will strip Punk of the title.

Once again, breaking news.  Mr. McMahon said that if The Shield, or anyone else interfere with Punk Vs The Rock this Sunday, Punk will be stripped of the WWE Title.

Alberto Del Rio, the World Heavyweight Champion will face Tensai, now.

Del Rio wins with a Moonsault, we see Sergio Romo, of the San Francisco Giants in the house, tonight.

Del Rio did say there will be counting going on this Sunday, but it won’t be Show, it will be Del Rio….counting in spanish.

King and Cole tell us The Road to Wrestlemania begins at Royal Rumble.

We find out who the second inductee of the WWE Hall of Fame is…..

Bob Backlund.

Congratulations to Mr. Backlund.  He was the WWE Champion for 6 years.

John Cena is next.

Cena comes out, and he says Sunday is all about rest, and he goes to some fans in the crowd and tells them they probably do this, or do that.

His gamertag is Skidmarks187, possibly.

The point is we all do things differently every Sunday, except this Sunday, because this is Royal Rumble Sunday.

History will be made, it will be an all-out war.  All of the eyes of the WWE Universe will fall on Sunday, and will find out what he already knows.

This Sunday, Cena will win the Royal Rumble.

Here comes Sheamus.  That was a passionate, yet bizarre speech, but he has it wrong, the man who will win the Rumble is the same man who won the Rumble last year, fella.

Here come The Prime Time Players.

Now Randy Orton.

He didn’t come out here to dance, he didn’t come out here to talk about deja vu, he came out here to say he is going to win the Royal Rumble.





The Miz will win the Rumble, and he will main event Wrestlemania, because he is The Miz, and he’s….

Here comes Team Hell No.

Kane, can you believe these people are arguing over who will win the Royal Rumble match?

Kane was thinking the same thing, because everyone knows Kane will win the Rumble match.

Daniel is….

Kane is….



Antonio Cesaro comes out, and dedicate The Rumble match to his home away from home, United States of America.

Here comes 3MB.

One member will win the Royal Rumble match, and what do you think of that, baby!!

Everyone else comes out, and start to fight among themselves.

Kevin’s Thoughts:

This has been the poorest build to the Royal Rumble match in years, we didn’t even get a “Royal Rumble Numbers” video, like we had the last few years.  I think it’s obvious that Cena is going to win, and I would bet money that the final two men are Cena and Ziggler.

I am not a fan of the Beat the Clock method, because it means nothing in the grand scheme, plus we know full well that the matches will not last long.  Cesaro Vs Orton was not as fun as it had been the last few weeks, because those matches gave it time.  The same can be said about every single of the other two matches.

The Cena speech was a complete waste of time.  Seriously, why build up Cena was going to address the WWE Universe, when we know deep down what he is going to say, he would win.  Well, duh.

The best two things on the show, and the two things that made the show work was Team Hell No graduation, and any segment involving The Rock and CM Punk.  In particular, the final segment, with The Shield having the final word.  A great job by The Rock, truly making those three men threats, and CM Punk having the final statement.

Let’s put it this way, if they don’t put Punk Vs Rock on last, it would be a crying shame, yet the event is called The Royal Rumble.  Go figure.

There you go, the buildup to Royal Rumble means the Road to Wrestlemania will begin.  What were your thoughts?  Share them here.


About Kevin Gillman
I have had this blog up for a few years, writing every Monday night and anytime in between. Always check the site out, send me a comment on what your thoughts are for the current state of wrestling.

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