Impact Wrestling 5/31/16…Pick Your Poison

We are 2 weeks away from Slammiversary, with the show being centered around Drew Galloway and Lashey.  The two will lock horns at Slammiversary.

Impact Wrestling is now.

Dixie Carter is backstage, telling someone there has to be control tonight.  She vouched for her,and she promised he would do the right thing.  This person is in charge of tonight’s Impact.

We see last week, Jeff Hardy winning the ladder match to ensure he faces Matt Hardy at Slammiversary.  EC3 defeated Matt Hardy by DQ, but he doesn’t face “The Miracle” Mike Bennett at Slammiversary.

Mike Bennett and Maria come to the ring.

So according to Dixie Carter, things got a little out of hand.  She put someone in charge of tonight’s show.  He knows it’s not Mike, or his wife.  He gave her all of his social media accounts, and he never heard from Dixie.

Maria is the leader of the Knockout Division, if it’s anyone who should be in charge, it should be Maria.

Whoever is in charge, come on….


EC3 is in charge, tonight.

Mike Bennett beats EC3, and they had a deal for a rematch, but Mike reneged on that deal, which brings him to Slammiversary….Mike Bennett Vs EC3.  EC3 wants Mike 100%, so he is giving him the night off.  So he can be at his very best, that he comes out, to be defeated.

Mike tells EC3 every time he steps in the ring, the ratings go through the roof.  But that is fine, Mike will take the night off.

But wait, a night off from wrestling, but not from working.

He asks for Kenny Smith the director of custodian directions, to get the tools.  It was “Taco Tuesday” in catering, so he has Mike clean the toilets.

Maria tells him he can’t do that, but he can.  He upset Impact directors, so they brought him out to alleviate the issues at hand.  We will have a job evaluation, with Gail Kim coming out here.  We will find out if she keeps her job, or spoiler alert, she gets fired.

EC3 is done with them, so leave this ring.

Michael refuses, and EC3 orders him to leave the ring.

He will leave, but only because Mike wants to leave.

Na na na chant from the crowd.

Here comes Lashley.

Ethan, they keep meeting like this.  Ethan keeps messing in his business.  So Lashley will mess in him.  One day, the two will meet up, so Lashley can spear his ass.

EC3 tells Lashley that will be a hell of a match someday, but tonight, Drew Gallaway will intervene, and choose Lashley’s opponent.

Pick Your Poison, tonight.

We come back, and see Mike Bennett having some trouble cleaning the toilets.

Drew Galloway and Lashley are in the ring.  Drew chooses Bram as Lashley’s opponent.

The match is now.

Lashley is DQ’d in the match, and he hits a spear on Bram after the match.  He delivers another spear.

Drew Galloway brings a chair to the ring, to save Bram.

Drew chases after Lashley.

Eli Drake, he has the briefcase.

He’s cashing in his King of the Mountain Championship.

Eli hits a knee to the head, and pins Bram to be the new King of the Mountain Champion.

Earlier today, The Bromans are with Raquel.  They need to focus to keep their eyes on the prize.

Michael Bennett is still cleaning the toilets.

Oh boy, Earl Hebner is out of the toilet, so Mike needs to clean that toilet.  He disrespect Earl, and EC3 calls for Mike to be a ref for the next match.

We are at Cameron, North Carolina.  Our cameras were on hand for the contract signing, of Hardy vs Hardy at Slammiversary.

Eli Drake is the new King of the Mountain champion, and he has some champagne to celebrate with everyone.  Very nice of him.

Video footage from Cameron, North Carolina.

Matt Hardy, with a new look.

“The Miracle” Mike Bennett is the referee.

The match is Rockstar Spud and Tyrus against The Bromans.

The winner gets Tag Team Shot at Slammiversary.

They have Raquel with them.

The Bromans wins with The Bro-Down, and Spud taps out to The Adonis Clutch.

Maria is on the phone with Billy Corgan, but EC3 interrupts the call.  EC3 will mediate the entire Maria-Gail Kim scenario, next.

Maria comes to the ring, with her apprentice Allie with her, and her enforcer Sienna.

Allie tells us the first lady of professional wrestling cannot do her job without them.

EC3 shoos them out of the ring, and Maria tells him he can’t talk to them like that.

More Na Na Na Hey hey Good-bye, as they leave.

Maria is doing a wonderful job as leaders of the Knockouts.

EC3 disagrees, but the real opinion is Gail Kim.

Maria tells us let the wrestlers talk, because if they were in charge, there would be anarchy.

EC3 tell us Maria thinks she is doing a good job.  Gail does not, so what does Gail want?

Gail wants a match with Maria, one on one, and she wants it at Slammiversary.

Let Maria remind us she is Gail’s leader, so as her leader, she says no.

But EC3 is in charge, and he calls for Maria vs Gail Kim, at Slammiversary.

Maria is trying to build a future for the Knockouts Division.  At Slammiversary, it will be the worst night of her life.  Because she will submit herself in the TNA Hall of Fame, when she kicks her ass.

EC3 sees Gail Kim dressed to compete, Maria’s apprentices are dressed to compete.  Gail Kim has a partner, and that partner is the Knockout Champion, Jade.

That is next.

Allie is pinned from a Package Piledriver by Jade.  She and Gail win the match.

Jeff has entered the Hardy house.  Reby is taking the kid to leave.  Matt has flipped the lid.

Matt still has his accent.

Mike Bennett comes to the ring, Maria refuses to leave.

This game Ethan is over.  EC3’s aunt Dixie doesn’t know what she has in them.  Mike is a wrestler, not his wife.  He is the best wrestler in the damn world.  This is through.

EC3 said Mike is a wrestler, he has an opponent, and it would be a “miracle” if he shows up sober.

Sorry About Your Damn Luck.

James Storm heads to the ring, in his brewser cruiser.

The match is now.

Maria slaps Storm in the face, and Bennett rolls up Storm for the win.

EC3 tells Michael the game is over, the nonsense is over.  The fact is Slammiversary.  Bennett calls himself God, EC3 is the devil.  He comes to his church God, he burns it down, God.  But he leaves Mike with this, a kick to the face.

Last Call by Storm.

Still to come, who will Drew Galloway face?

Al Snow is in the ring, he runs down American fans, and says he brought new talent from London, England.  Their names are The Tribula.

He shows footage of last week beating Grado with one move, his Snow Plow.  But Grado comes out with Mahibab Sheara, calling him a liar.  He used weapons last week, even Grado’s own fanny pack.  He had The Tribula come out and interfere too.

Now we get some Mom jokes, and now all four men fight, but Al helps his new team.

Anyway, Lashley chooses Galloway’s opponent, next.

We see an interview setup of Braxton Sutter.  He is excited about having a TNA contract.

He now has an opportunity, he wants to be World Heavyweight Champion.

Slammiversary rundown.

Hardy Vs Hardy video now.

They are inside the very first Omega ring, and I guess we end the show with that footage.

But now, who is Drew Galloway facing tonight?

Lashley tells us Drew’s opponent tonight are The Decay.

Drew more or less faced all 3 members.  But Lashley came out to try to spear him, but Drew leaped up, and Lashley speared Abyss.  The champ then hits a Future Shock DDT, and pins Crazzy Steve.

12 days away from Lashley Vs Drew.

And now video footage of the Hardy contract signing.

Matt signs the contract, Reby comes back, but she had a baby doll.  And Matt nails a Side Effect through the table.

It’s over, done.

Kevin’s Thoughts:

I picked the wrong week to start watching Impact again.  After hearing about how good last week’s show was, I gave this a chance.  Just a bad show.

Do you agree?  Send me your thoughts here.

























About Kevin Gillman
I have had this blog up for a few years, writing every Monday night and anytime in between. Always check the site out, send me a comment on what your thoughts are for the current state of wrestling.

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