WWE Monday Night Raw 8/8/16…F-5 Vs RKO

Tonight, Raw is in Anaheim, California.  Sean “Puff Daddy” Combs will be our guest host.  Mick Foley also extended the invite to Daniel Bryan.

Is Randy Orton lurking?

Raw is now.

Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, and Corey Graves welcome us to the show.

Tonight, an in-depth look at Lesnar Vs Orton:  15 Years In the Making.

And Daniel Bryan is here to clear the air.

Sean “Puff Daddy” Combs is in the house.

But we kick the show off with Enzo and Cass.

My name is Enzo Amore, and I am a certified G, and a bonafide stud, and you can’t teach that.

And this right here is Big Cass, and he’s 7 foot tall, and you can’t teach that.

Badda-Boom, realest guys in the room….How ya doin’?

Last week, Enzo came out to Monday Night Raw, as a G.  He was talkin some game to the WWE Women’s Champion, how ya doin’?

She was smitten, he doesn’t practice sanatoria, and he doesn’t have a crystal ball.  He had that in the bag.

Cass said Enzo was like Mike Trout.

And then…Bon Jon Jericho wants to come out like a golden glove, and rob him of his Home Run.

This guy hits him like a codebreaker.  The only code he broke was the man code, wearing a scarf without a shirt on.

He and Cass are on Anaheim Angels on Stairway to Heaven, and Jericho is on the highway to Hell.  So Axl Rose wannabe, you’re going down.

Here comes Jericho, with the scarf, and without the shirt.

Jericho has some news for Enzo Annoying.  The only reason he is still here, is because every time he gets his mouth in trouble, he has the 7 foot maid cleaning up.

But at least Enzo has someone watching his back, but so does Chris.  How ya doin’?

Enter Kevin Owens.

Now, Jericho and Owens are closer, like Canadian brothers.  No matter what he does, Owens has his back.  No matter what he says, Owens has his back.  You have my back, right?

Owens has Jericho’s back, like Burt and Ernie, in the same bathtub?

You think that is funny?  Only a stupid idiot would think that is funny.

Owens used to like Big Cass.  Because he had dead weight, that he would carry on his back, and Owens had dead weight on his back.  But now, Cass took that dead weight with him to Raw, and he has to always hear him vomit spew.  So Owens doesn’t like Cass anymore, and if he doesn’t like him, he will have to hurt him.

Cass shows up, but Owens doesn’t want to hurt him, and Jericho will.

Yeah, Jericho will hurt him.  But Jericho isn’t talking about Cass, he is talking about this guy with the mitten head.  Enzo is going to get it.

Enzo Vs Jericho is next.

Enzo is DQ’d when Big Cass comes to the ring, and hits the big boot on Jericho.  Owens just kept interfering, and Cass had it.

Big Cass challenges Owens and Jericho to a tag team match, at Summerslam.

They agree, and Cass tells us at Summerslam, there is only one word to describe them…..

S.A.W.F.T.

Rusev is now married to Lana.  Tonight, they celebrate their marriage to us, live.

Mick Foley is on the phone, and he says they need to nip this Orton-Lesnar thing in the bud.  He is talking to Stephanie, who I guess has the night off.

“The Boss” enters the room.

Sasha Banks offers a Handicap match at Summerslam, with Charlotte and Dana Brooke.

Foley thinks that is a bad idea.  So he has a better idea.  If he puts Dana in a match with Sasha tonight, and she beats Dana.  Brooke is banned from ringside at Summerslam.  But if Dana wins, she is added in the Handicap match.

Ben-Hur is going to be terrible, and yet WWE is promoting it.

Braun Strowman screams to the ring, ready to squash his opponent.

Braun’s opponent is Jorel Nelson.  What possessed him to take this match?

He doesn’t have an answer, but he does get his entrance music.

Reverse Chokeslam, match is over.

Foley tries to use his laptap.  He runs into Puff Daddy.

Puff is coming to Columbus, Ohio on August 25th.

New Day show up.

Puff Daddy is producing the soundtrack to WWE2K17.

Big E. is at home, his balls are hurting.

Puff Daddy is going to talk to Big E., and give him some love.

Darren Young Vs Titus O’ Neil is now.

Darren won, using the tights.

At Summerslam, it will be Rollins Vs Balor, winner becomes the first Universal Champion.

Seth will speak, next.

Seth comes out, and he thought of Finn Balor as Jared Leto, to Seth’s Heath Ledger.  But after last week, he decided to rethink about his feelings about the man.

Last Monday, we see their face-to-face moment.

He’s athletic, we knew that.  He is agile, we knew that.  He is a potent striker, as any normal man would be still down on the ground, but he isn’t just a normal man.  But we know about Seth Rollins.  He wants to know the real Finn Balor.

Finn Balor isn’t even his real name.  Finn means famous warrior, and Balor means Demon King.

Will we see “The Demon” at Summerslam?

He wants to know who the real Finn Balor is, and the more he sees of him, the less he likes him.  This is Seth’s show, this is his ring.  And Finn got right into his face, how disrespectful is that?  How arrogant is that?  He told Seth he was going to beat him at Summerslam.  Finn has had 2 matches on Raw.  Grant it, they both were no joke, but they aren’t Seth Rollins.

Then Finn disrespected Rollins, by saying everything was handed to him?  Handed to him?  He worked too hard to get back into this game.  Seth knows his place, at the very top.

He doesn’t need smoke and mirrors to say who he is.  Seth knows who he is.  Seth is the myth, he is the legend….Seth is THE MAN!!

And in 200 years, people will talk about the legend of Seth Rollins.  How he sleigh the beast, or how he took out the face that runs this place.  Or how he conquered The Roman Empire, because that is what Seth did.  And how he will become the first Universal Champion.

That is what Seth Rollins is.

In 2 weeks, Rollins Vs Balor for the Universal Championship.

We will also see for the first time ever, Lesnar Vs Orton on PPV.

We see footage from last week, when Orton hit a RKO from anywhere on Lesnar.

Lesnar Vs Orton:  15 years in the making, we will see tonight.  Also, Daniel Bryan will be here tonight, to clear the air.

Sheamus Vs Cesaro is now.

Cesaro wins with a rolling of the tights.

After the match, we see what happened at Smackdown, when Brock returned the receipt from Orton.

And next, 15 years in the making, Orton Vs Lesnar video.

Lesnar Vs Orton is in 2 weeks, and Brock will be live, next week.

Daniel Bryan is here tonight, to clear the air with Mick Foley.

We have The Dudley Boyz Vs Neville and a mystery partner, next.

The mystery partner is Sin Cara.

Red Arrow, Neville and Sin Cara win.

Rusev and Lana are up next, celebrating their love.

Daniel Bryan arrives in the building.

It’s time for a celebration of love.

Lana in her wedding dress, Rusev wearing white, it’s a joyous occasion.

Lana is Rusev’s princess, and you have to give them what they want.

The fans don’t care, and Lana told us we weren’t a part of it, because it’s VIP only.

But we will re-live, and re-enact their special day with us.

This is a chance for all of us to experience true love.

We see the pictures, complete with music.

We get more talking, fans are booing, and here comes Roman Reigns, to some cheers?

Reigns isn’t here to ruin this, he was watching the video in the back.  He realized Rusev didn’t even have a best man.  So Reigns is stepping up to be Rusev’s best man.

How about he pour a couple of drinks, and toast the happy couple.

Rusev doesn’t need his stupid toast.

So how about accepting Reign’s challenge for the United States Title, at Summerslam.

He can’t accept the challenge.

Then, the toast needs to happen.

Here is a toast, he has never seen a Bulgarian swashsquash.  And a mail order bride.

That came out the wrong way, Reigns expected more, like his wife expected more on their wedding night.

Them are fighting words.

Reigns decks Rusev, Rusev runs into Lana, and into the wedding cake goes Lana.

Reigns didn’t mean it, and down goes the cake.

Sasha Banks Vs Dan Brooke is next.

Moments ago, we see what we just saw….Lana getting doused with wedding cake.

In the back, Rusev insists Reigns must pay for what happened.  Foley tells Rusev he can work on his frustration on Reigns, in a match at Summerslam, for the United States Title.

Sasha Banks Vs Dana Brooke is now.

Sasha wins the match with a Double Foot Stomp, after Charlotte is knocked off the apron.

It’s Charlotte Vs Sasha Banks, one on one at Summerslam.  Dana Brooke is banned at ringside.

Nia Jaz is here, a video showcasing her.

Next, we hear about Finn Balor.

Who is Finn Balor?  He knows who Seth Rollins is, and Finn tells us through a video.

“The Demon” is coming.

Dr. Anderson and Dr. Gallows explain to us to avoid ringpostitis.  It can be painful to your nuts.  Kofi Kingston is fixing to find out, tonight.

It’s going to be Kofi Kingston Vs Luke Gallows.

Gallows wins the match.  They tried to set up Kofi with ringpostitis, but Xavier helps his friend.

Speaking of friend, earlier today, Golden Truth meets up with Scooby-Doo.  I think Truth had a bit of “Scooby Snacks” himself, because he didn’t want the flies in The Mystery Machine.

Mick Foley is coming to the ring, next.

Foley comes out to introduce, in show of great sportsmanship, the Smackdown General Manager, Daniel Bryan.

Daniel congratulates Mick on doing a great job running Monday Night Raw.  Foley is complimenting Daniel on his job.

Daniel plugs Smackdown Live, and Foley doesn’t want to hear about that.  What Brock Lesnar did at Smackdown last week was a bit harsh, and Mick is deeply sorry.  Daniel tells Mick they started it with Orton coming out to give Brock a RKO.

Now comes talk about the Universal Championship.  Bryan on “Talking Smack” made fun of the title name, and Mick tells Daniel the Universal Title will be an important championship.

Here comes Rusev, he is the champion, Raw does not need another championship.  Then he and Daniel get into it.

But Cesaro interrupts the fun.  He tells Foley last week, Mick said if Cesaro won, he would get a title shot.  Foley disagrees with this, and says Sheamus almost had him.  Cesaro thought Foley was a man of his word.  Daniel tells Cesaro he believes he has been underutilized on Raw.

Foley gives us the title match, Cesaro Vs Rusev, now.

Next week, “The Beast Incarnate” Brock Lesnar will be here.  Also next week, Seth Rollins will call out “The Demon King”.

Cesaro Vs Rusev, for the United States Championship is now.

Rusev wins the match, when Sheamus comes out, and we get a ref bump, many close pin falls, but at the end, Cesaro was kicked in the head too many times.

Cesaro was pinned.

Rusev celebrates, but is greeted by a Reigns spear, to end the show.

Roman also gave us the peace out sign, which was funny.

The show ends here, with Dean Ambrose being a guest of the Stone Cold Podcast.

Kevin’s Thoughts:

I loved the importance they gave the United States Championship tonight, and really, right now, this is the biggest Raw title.  So why not showcase it?

But unfortunately, this was another bad show by Raw.  I don’t get it, 3 weeks ago, we had one of the best shows of all-time, they showcased the superstars.  Smackdown has a chance to take another step forward this week.

Not even Mick Foley and Daniel Bryan could save it.  I did love the videos hyping up the big matches, but other than that, just a blah show.

Do you agree?  Leave me a word here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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About Kevin Gillman
I have had this blog up for a few years, writing every Monday night and anytime in between. Always check the site out, send me a comment on what your thoughts are for the current state of wrestling.

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